DiD Changes you
Hello lovely readers! Thank you for stopping by (A->) There are so many different things we want to write about today. We are pretty sure there is a dominant (-D+) split /S/ happening as we speak. We see a lot of people claiming to be living with DiD but their descriptions don’t ring true to the experience of what true DiD is like.
So, in that spirit (E/e), we thought we would write more about what it’s like for us, as a family and how DiD affects someone, at least from our perspective. We also hope to write more about possessions, as last night, we were highly possessed (P) and Katy Mae became dominant and helped us pen “Without you“. So let’s get into it!
The moment we realized there was more than one of us occupying the ANP’s body, everything changed, at that moment. We ended up having to self diagnose ourselves. That’s not to say other’s didn’t assist us to coming to the conclusions that we did. We still collectively remember the moment Katy Mae finally reached the rest of us. It changed our lives and our loved ones lives, forever.
Katy Mae’s dance, her own call, finally reached the rest of us. It was this image of her dancing as Amy Lee’s (33) that eventually reached the ANP (Apparently Normal Part).
Once you realize (or at least in our case) that there is more than one of you, your life takes a completely new turn. All of the sudden, everything makes total sense that made no sense before. The weird love of pigtails (Kayleigh Marie) that made absolutely no sense, for decades. Kayleigh Marie cannot stand being called a “Guy” and hate it when other people refer to the ANP as a “Guy” – It infuriates her. That anger and weird reaction(s) we always felt towards that off reference now, makes total and complete sense but for decades, it didn’t.
All of the sudden, you begin to realize why as children you (Or we) loved playing with makeup and held certain fascinations for women. The female system had always been just as much a part of us as the male system was but there was no way to describe or pinpoint where those feelings were coming from. We weren’t listening to eachother – for decades, we were lost among ourselves.
It’s coming to grips with DiD that can be the toughest part of living with it. There is a tremendous amount of shock and accumulated guilt that happens to a person when the realization of DiD finally sets in. A disbelief of the facts that is like a giant wall that we had hit and sometimes still hit. Sometimes, even years past discovery, the notion that we are more than one person can sometimes be too much to handle – There are days we just cannot handle it. Those are the “quiet” days.
As we said, everything changes and everything begins to make sense. What is interesting is how emotional each of us get when describing each other – This is where, for us, things get fuzzy when other people describe their altars in such unemotional terms; It doesn’t ring true to our experience with DiD – That’s not to say other’s don’t and can’t have their own experiences with and as a family system.
MikeANP will start to cry or become much more animated simply describing Katy Mae (Or other altars) to others – not in a flat, monotone voice and gait. What is even more interesting is how loved ones describe our family system – They too, are very much moved by our family, as most are and we can tell this is the case, listening to the emotion in their voices and in their own descriptions of us.
In the same sense, Katy Mae can become very emotional when describing anyone in our family system to another person or family member. The love, respect and pride that we have for eachother flows out in so many different ways and is very apparent to all that know us. It’s not a simple, “Well Katy Mae is this and Kayleigh Marie does that” as you see and experience in the mainstream depictions of DiD and DiDNOS. It’s not like that at all:
It’s much more complicated and delicate than that.
We could go on and on about DiD and the wonder that we hold for each other but we have dragged you through enough, today. Thank you for stopping by and reading more about our family when you could be spending your time elsewhere. Stay lovely, lovely people (A->)!