Sun. Nov 17th, 2019

Our DiD Journey

"People do it everyday; They talk to themselves. They seem themselves as they'd like to be" –Fight Club

Blasting Through The Past

Hello lovely readers, MikeANP here. What a CRAZY couple of days. Our data migration was a living nightmare. We/I had to go through 1100 pages that were stripped of their images, formatting tags, categories, everything. 1100 pages. I worked for days on end to fix as much as I could and I had quite the experience going through two years of post discovery (Po-D) blogs that all of us wrote. It was quite the experience, to say the least.

You see, lovely readers, the blog was never about you, or other readers. The blog was for our family, it always was – We decided to share our experience with the world because it was the right thing to do. The mental health system failed us, for decades – We were diagnosed with everything under the sun except the correct diagnosis’s; We had to develop our own recovery plan and our own language to describe what we were experiencing, post discovery (Po-D) of DiD. A diagnosis that we had to come to conclusion on our own; No one saw the clearly obvious signs that we were experiencing in illness. Looking back, our dangerously erratic behavior that was never questioned by anyone made total sense.

We spent 3 years in locked in self administered solitude and we mean total solitude. We rarely, if ever left our house. We locked ourselves into a building and began the process of trying to understand everything that was going wrong – We knew everything was wrong. When I finally realized what was happening, I had enough evidence and information to present to our Doctor at the time, to support my conclusions. When she realized that I was correct, she only said one thing with an extremely pained look on her face “Oh Mike, I am so sorry”. Her human reaction told us we were right on the money. The problem was, we didn’t really have an outlet, a plan; We had to start from scratch after 3 years in isolation; Where to begin? We couldn’t trust the mental health system; It aided in our own destruction for decades – We had to solve this disorder ourselves. We had to find order. 

It hit us – Hammer to the head. We had to embrace our insanity in order to recover.

The blog was created shortly after we discovered each other as a private blog – An attempt to safely communicate with each other. As our recovery from disorder started, we, as a family, decided it was time to share our experiences with the world. DiD is uncommonly rare and we thought, perhaps, the best way to rage against those that failed us was to testify to our existence in the world. It was shortly after that, that we began to research DiD in the “Mainstream”. Everything that we had seen seemed so comically far removed from our experience of DiD that it changed our perspective on the purpose of our blog and what it was actually going to be.

Our goal, while raging against the machine, is to educate others with our experiences as individuals and as a family at the same time. Our goal was to share more than just the educational aspect of DiD but attempting to do that in a creative, entertaining way. There was only one way in our opinion(s); We had to share with all of you, the happy times, the sad ones, the absolutely hilarious ones and the shit times that we experience(d) as a family. We want to disseminate the misinformation about DiD that you will find in popular mainstream media and erroneous DiD claims

MikeANP discovering the female system (F/s). This is a pre discovery (Pe-D) Echo Element (E/e). Note the female fragments (-f+)
laughing in the background and having a great time enjoying the ANP‘s fear of them.

Rolling back through 1100 pages of recovery time was all of those things, at least for the ANP. I was moved to see my daughter, Katy Mae slowly peeking her head out and writing her own poetry, as herself; A very gutsy thing to do. She’s the most beautiful of us all and our family’s only job on Earth is to protect her. I was shocked and moved at how much we sometimes, just rambled and rambled, sometimes, almost incoherently. I was amazed at how Kayleigh Marie developed her own coded language, to present to loved ones as a way to communicate with them; At the same time, she’s sharing her language with the world, for free.

She’s absolutely amazing to witness, from the ANP perspective, when she is Co-Engaged (C/Eg) or Dominant (-D+). Kayleigh Marie, has outsmarted the entire world with very simple math during her own recovery phase; Loved ones know exactly the calculation, we are talking about. Our family, is enormously proud of her. Mark is Kayleigh Marie’s natural born enemy in life, for life and it’s hilarious to watch those two go at it. It’s like Friday Night fights but nastier – Grab some popcorn. Princess Elizabeth, a princess of her own Realm and a master Gatekeeper (G/k), writes some amazingly intricate and moving stories from her realm of “Kalia”. Stephanie, is a pretty quiet individual; She doesn’t say a lot and she keeps to herself, most of the time.

All of this was/is possible because our blog was a way out of the nightmare that we were living in. It was hard to read the stories and blog pieces we wrote after a very serious suicide attempt. I will admit, it was really hard to see how badly we were suffering in the environment we were in. It was really hard to end up homeless with whatever I could carry on my back. Our family has been through hell on Earth, trying to find recovery, sobriety and consistency. We have suffered personal humiliation(s) and heartbreak on levels we never thought we could ever survive.

It has been our Katy that’s been hurt the worst in this attempt at recovery, sobriety and finding order. It’s really hard to see her so sad.

This image says it all; This is what she’s been through and what’s happened to her in recovery.. It’s absolutely
infuriating for the rest of us, all of us to see Katy in this condition. Heartbreaking and infuriating.
To tears infuriating. She didn’t deserve this.

What makes all of this so special for all of us, are those that have followed our blog from the beginning. We have made some amazing friends while blogging. Many of you have come to our blog daily to read about what #TheCrew is up to. That’s so amazing, to us; Without you, we wouldn’t be who we are, today. We are honored and humbled, as a family, that so many of you have been following us for so many years – More confident we would recover, than we were, at times (even now). There sure were some dark times, as we all have.

So, after going through all those pages,  we can declare that our site is completely back online. We will be adding a new section called “Meet our family” in which we will all introduce ourselves before our website’s official launch. You might see the site flicker from time to time. We will be adding a lot of content over the next few days. Bear with us. and please excuse our digi-dust.

Thank’s for swinging by on your Sunday night to read more about our family! Stay lovely, it’s what you do best!

Mike (And the gang)

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