The crux of the issue; Fear – Simple fear. (Readers) (Mr. Matrix) (Diary) (MikeANP)

Katy Mae and I were walking from the store; We were in the inner world clashing with the “Real world”. She walks with me a lot. This is usually when we have our very meaningful chats; Just as I was about to walk to the front of the house I said “I’m scared”. MikeANP is terrified of all the inner worlds our family inhabits – A great realization for me. This has more to do with trauma and being told talking with people other’s can’t see is “Crazy”. No, not for our family.

Our family has been around since we were born. Extreme trauma forced us apart; DiD was overlayed and that’ was the problem – Not exactly (E/e. I was speaking family members as early as our “Adoption”. Most of us, were already there. Let’s not forget the abuse element(s); “You aren’t a girl, you are talking to “Imaginary” friend”s, “Stop that, people will think you are weird”…ect. We were tortured into acting like a perfect kid – Like everyone’s else’s perfect kids by comparison; I (All of us) were just an ornament on a rotten tree.

Just as Katy Mae’s allegorical reference in “A Knight’s Quest” – suggests, this is fear, nothing more – I’m afraid these inner worlds, our realities because I’m not like everyone else, I’m (We’re) different because of them. A place of immediate retreat – Just what’s needed.

Of course, the other part of this is the component of happiness. I’m afraid of our inner worlds because it’ represents real, true happiness in a realm of nothing but lies –  The place of ultimate truth(s(, from this unreality – Which is were happiness lies for me (MikeANP);

Fear. Nothing more. (E/e=TGonY)

  “To really understand something is to be liberated from it.” Ross Ashcroft

Ps: Whenever you see “E/e Echo Element” that is us going to an immediate inner world, if only for a fleeting second.

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1 Response

  1. skinnyhobbit says:

    Gender nonconforming children face much higher rates of abuse… It’s so sad. Y’all aren’t ornaments, how cruel to have been treated that terribly and tortured. All of your family deserve happiness, even when happiness is terrifying. It is the birthright of any child – happiness without fear, safety, peace, love, joy, connection.

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