Waking up in the woods: Intro to “Splitting” – Part 1 (Readers) (Long Read).


Imagine it, lovely readers. You are hauling a 75 pound pack up the side of a mountain. You can feel the threads of the rope your climbing, jamming out to “Hard Sun” by Eddy Vedder. You are having an amazing time – Rain starts to fall as you crest a small crevice. On your own, finally, in the woods.

You hike another mile up the mountain and find the perfect camping spot. Vedder’s voice is only fueling the hypomanic need to work your body harder and having a fetish for mother nature abusing you with the worst weather she can throw your way.

You have been training for months, for this very particular moment – So excited to smell a campfire again, hopefully while a snow squall blows through your campsite. Sexy. You have a perfectly packed pack with all the gear you’re gonna need.

After a blazing campfire, it’s time to take a rest. You are laying in your tent, staring at the green colored tent flap. You focus on the color, too intently. All of the sudden, Eddy’s song “Hard Sun” has been playing on repeat for hours. All of the sudden, you can’t hear it anymore. You no longer hear lyrics, you hear beautiful, unidentifiable noise that you can perceive.

The world, all of the sudden the world becomes brighter – The color of the world around you becomes more vividYou no longer have a functioning of understanding of where you are, or what you are. You are in the moment, the second ahead and the second before you. You understand you are in a tent in the woods but you don’t know why.

Then, you realize you don’t like bugs (A), you are afraid of bear attacks and generally don’t like sweating.

You become very scared in a non panicked way – You can no longer remember the night before, when you were packing. You don’t have a memory anymore. You know however, that you don’t like the woods.

You might even ask yourself “Why am I am I out in the middle of nowhere!?!?!” In MikeANP’s case, I stopped asking “Why” decades ago.

You pack up your pack completely wrong, you just don’t care about survivalist bullshit. You have forgotten how to correctly re-pack your pack even though you have done it hundreds of times before. You just want out of the fucking woods.

You hike back to the beginning with your pack leaking different pieces of camping gear, a sock here or two and you just don’t care. At least you can remember where you parked (After you get lost a few times). The headache starts. You stopped the repetitive music an hour ago.

Your months of hard work to prepare for this weekend don’t matter anymore, they don’t exist. The love of hiking and camping (And everything that comes with it) simply don’t exist anymore to love, in the first place. You couldn’t care less, your head is pounding and are exhausted, for some unknown reason. You have forgotten most of the skills you have learned but because those skills don’t exist anymore, you just don’t care.

You all of the sudden realize you have forgotten your cell phone number, you don’t remember left from light. It’s getting dark – damn the bears (Bear).

You don’t know why you are getting in your car and you have no idea why you don’t want to get in the car in the first place. All you want to do is go home and fall asleep.

That’s enough rambling from us. If you read the entire article, well done and thank you for sharing so much of your time with our family. We love you all and we hope know that you’re perfect. Of course you do. Silly us.


 

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6 Responses

  1. skinnyhobbit says:

    That really helped me understand the fear. I myself would never go camping, so experiencing what y’all wrote would be literally a nightmare coming true. Being lost, my skills gone, unable to orient myself, no one who could help. **shivers**

  2. Sunny says:

    Also very interesting how perceptions of colors and music change

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