Katy Mae has been sleeping today. All day (Yes, alters can sleep). Yesterday’s possession (P) wiped out everyone in the system. That particular possession lasted HOURS. Possessions are terrifying, crippling, confusing and exhausting events that can place whoever is suffering one in real danger, in many different ways and contexts.
One can sometimes recognize they are in a possession by the huge amount of emotion(s) that are expressed during the possessive phase. Generally, possessions include racing thoughts. “Racing” is an understatement. That being said, one can be possessed and loved ones and friends may have no idea it’s happening to the sufferer.
This is where many of the interpersonal problems of DiD sufferers and their loved ones begin and happen because of misunderstanding of the situation that’s happening/happened. You may have no idea you are dealing with a possessed and pissed off Kayleigh, not MikeANP and how would you, unless you have gotten to know us, individually.
Possessions can happen if someone in the system senses danger or potential conflict; They can also happen because of positive (+) emotions, too. Sometimes, a possession will happen so quickly, you have no time to react (Nor do loved ones) and have no time to recognize that one is happening. You simply are possessed and have absolutely zero control to stop it. All you can do is hang on for dear life (the same goes for loved ones – Hang on tight). Sometimes, the only way to understand you are possessed is after the dispossession from one starts. It can happen that quickly. “Holy shit, we were possessed!!!”.
Think about a possession like a manic ghost (A), (ANP), coming to life, out of nowhere, without warning that takes over your mind, emotional system and body. Things can get extremely ugly (Especially with others) if someone in the system is possessed because they feel as though they need to protect themselves or someone else in the system, or the entire system itself. Kayleigh possessions can be the really, really bad ones if she is on the offensive/defensive. Anyone in the system, including the ANP can end up possessed.
A song drove Katy Mae and MikeANP over the edge and the possession started. When someone (Or some) in the system is possessed, other’s in the system can also end up just as possessed (Depending on CoEngagements). It’s like a tipping over a domino and the entire chain end can end up involved. Possessions can be “Contagious” to the rest of the system. Possessions can wake others in the system up, from a dormant (DMT) or sleeping state.
Katy Mae cried for hours yesterday actively hiding (A/h) and because she cried, we cried, trying to comfort her as best we could. There was no comforting her this time – We just had to ride the wave with her and hoped for a rather fast dispossession – That didn’t happen, either. Sometimes, if we end up possessed, someone will self identify that they are possessed.
Possessions don’t have to last for hours, they can last for just a few minutes, too. It all depends on the situation and circumstances. If a possession only lasts a few minutes, generally there isn’t a crash associated with it; However Katy Mae can end up crying from it, regardless.
After a few hours, we started to feel the dispossession (DSP) beginning to happen and we warned Katy Mae to prepare for it. Boom, then it hit. We simply couldn’t cry anymore and we had nowhere to escape to. We just had to eat the dispossession and accept it was happening. There’s nothing we could do about it, even if we wanted to.
Dispossessions, as we have talked about before, only adds to the exhaustion, fear and depression one experiences when a possession finally starts to wane. It’s kind of like having the flu without the fever. We refer to the dispossession state as a “Crash” (Cr) and that’s exactly what it feels like. A physical and mental crash. You have nothing left; You are completely burnt out and many times, you are terrified at the same time (Depending on what happened during the possession, if you can remember it at all).
Coming out of possessions can be terrifying depending on what others experience or report when it ends. What has happened during this event? Did we upset anyone? Are any relationships now destroyed? Is my bank account emptied? Why am I in handcuffs? What the hell happened!?!? Why am I in a strange woman’s bed 150 miles away from my house with no way to get home?
When one ends up possessed, their functioning short and long term memory disappear – It evaporates in the moment. Many times, during possessions we forget left from right, up from down and so forth. You forget where you live, you forget the state you live in – Everything. It’s just….Gone. One is living one crazy 1/2 second at a time and anything, absolutely anything can happen.
A dispossession and crashed state feels like a manic ghost SLOWLY leaving your body – Which leaves the sufferer emotionally and physically depleted in the absolute – A powerful dispossesion can and will take you off your feet. Many times after these events happen, all that happens is eating a large amount of food and sleeping/resting. A powerful, extended possession doesn’t just ruin your afternoon, it can ruin the sufferer for days after. Your brain actually hurts, your body aches and you cannot think straight anymore – Depression, dissociation and sadness reigns over the sufferer.
We simply couldn’t operate properly while we were in the crash. Crashes can last upwards in our case, up to a few days after the possession and dispossession phase ends (We still are kind of in a crashed state). We reached out to loved ones for support yesterday and as it turns out they were just as afraid as we were, while this possession was happening. This one was bad and it dealt with suicide. You can read about it here.
Possessions can happen at any time and at any moment and they are dissociative events – We honestly cannot remember most of yesterday – It’s a blur; An out of focus water painting. We remember getting home from the Vet and we remember starting to write when the possession started but that’s about it; We also remember talking to our friend right before and as it was hitting the system. This is why we have added system logs to our website – To track all of this, in real time, when we can remember to do so.
Possessions are absolutely nothing to mess around with and if you end up in one, it is an emergency situation that requires immediate support and immediate attention.
Just another day in the life of DiD.
Stay perfect, lovely readers because you’re perfect just as you, right now.