We aren’t making this up; This is real. Gweneth Paltrow has decided to sell candles that smell like her vagina. No we aren’t kidding. We know EXACTLY what you are thinking; “So how many of them did YOU GUY’s buy”. The answer is “None”. We know what you’re thinkin’: “They are lying – They bought (3)”. We heard about this story last night and HAD to post it. We just had to. LOL.
We are serious – The candle actually reads “This smells like my vagina”. We didn’t make this up.
Ironically Gweneth’s company that sells her vagina candles is called “Goop”. No, no, we really aren’t kidding – That’s true. LOL. Who wants to burn a smelly, goopy vagina candle?
What’s even more hilarious is that her candles have already sold out. As of right now, they are being sold on Amazon for a whopping 158 bucks. They are selling on Ebay for a stunning $400.00.
Honestly, knowing what Gweneth’s vag smells like really isn’t the question we think consumers should be asking themselves. The real question is, in what condition has Gweneth’s vagina scent been captured? Is this a pre or post workout vagina scent? Are we talkin’ “Layin’ around the house on a Saturday after a shower”, or “I just got back from a hot date” vagina scent? THIS is the real question people should be asking themselves.
Someone in our family just asked “Are they edible”?
(Survival note, Tallow Candles are edible)
Imagine you friends come over and you are burning a few of these candles; What do they say when your entire house smell’s like Gweneth’s puss. Personally, some of us think that Gweneth is an insanely beautiful woman; Imagine being able say, “Yeah, I can prove I was with her for a night – Smell that!?!?! – Yeahhhhhh!!!!!”.
Imagine burning down your house with her vag candles and having the awesome opportunity to say “Officer, Gweneth Paltrow’s vagina burned down my house!”. The jokes our family will tell today, are gonna be absolutely awesome. Kayleigh is going to have a field day with this.
Speaking of which, when is Bar Rafaeli going to release her vagina candle!?!?!