The kidnapping; We talked. (Trigger warning)

Hello beautiful and lovely readers. Has anyone told you you’re lovely today? Yes, you! Tonight was the final straw. We saw something that upset a few of us. To make a long story short, we talked to a loved one tonight about our kidnapping; For the first time in 3 decades – We were so horrified by that event we simply couldn’t speak. It was odd recalling what we can remember. I (MikeANP) think it was time to talk not only about what was done to us but how we felt about it. It was time.

We knew the moment we ended up in this person’s house, forced into a room with a bare mattress with awful porn playing on the TV in the room, we were in deep, deep shit – Previous sexual assaults. The entire scene looked like a twisted, nightmarish movie set. We played along to a point with this person’s quasi sexual wrestling with us – Forcing us onto that awful bed. Playing along because we were absolutely terrified – We didn’t know if fighting this person or even saying no might get us killed.

This person ended up putting their 200+ body on our 80 pound body. We physically couldn’t breathe, couldn’t even move under this person’s weight and this person was actively assaulting us.

It got much worse. The whole point of that assault was to show us who was bigger and stronger – And who was in control. That might be right but we are wonderful actors and we just played kind of dead.

“On the first page of our story, The future seemed so bright
Then this thing turned out so evil, I don’t know why I’m still surprised”

We talked a bit how this person refused to let us call family and that was the moment we realized we were being kidnapped. My poor Kayleigh. It was at that particular moment, our lives ended. We were so terrified we couldn’t even think. We played along as best we could – We did the best we could. We did the best we could as already severely traumatized, special needs children could, ending up in a nightmare scenario.

This person (A male) sexually assaulted us in motel room after motel room through multiple states, every single night. We had to force this person, more than twice off of us, in the same bed with us in the dark. I/we still weren’t allowed to speak to family. Any shred of dignity that wasn’t previously stripped from us was now, completely gone. We were nothing but sex dolls to this person and too many people like him (Along with females), beginning shortly after our adoption. It was easy, second nature for us to go along with the sexual assaults, this wasn’t new territory for us. Teachers, babysitters, you get the idea.

This person did and said things to us that make us physically ill, thinking about them, to this day. Our stomachs actually roll over thinking about what this person did to us. This person went so far as to offer us money for sexual favors. It was unreal – You already did this to us now you want us to be prostitutes. Lovely. The worst part of this is our poor Kayleigh. She took this one, particularly hard.

The first time we were allowed to talk to our family, finally, this person listened to every fucking word we said to our adoptive father at the time – He sat in the room with us. I knew if we said anything, this person was going to kill us. I knew it. It was time to pull out those acting skills we spent our lives up to that point, perfecting.

Dad: “Hey Mike, how ya doing, you gettin’ some sun”?

MikeANP:  “What’s wrong with Mom, what happened”?

Dad: “Mike, are you okay – Whats going on – What are you talking about!?!?”

MikeANP: “When did she go to the hospital, Oh my God, do I need to come home??!?”

Dad: “Put this person on the phone, right now.”

We’d like to thank the Academy.

Our kidnapper spoke with my father and was instantly spooked. “Oh my God, this is it, we’re going to die…”. This person’s behavior became erratic and dangerous. He was acting like a caged animal – Hyperventilating and staring at us. I really expected to end up in dumpster. Our kidnapper said and we shit you not:

“You know, if I was in trouble and I was talking with my dad, I would have talked to him in code” – That was it. We were dead. Our hearts, we swear stopped beating. We just sat in silence, watching this person run all over the apartment we were in like a chicken with his head cut off. For whatever reason, this person chose not to kill us – Perhaps it was too late for him, in his eyes. He was caught and he knew it.

This person drove us home without saying a word, through multiple states – Not a word – He could have killed us then, we watched this person’s every breath. Every blink of the eye. Everything. That event ended us. For decades.

That’s enough. Kayleigh, this is for you – We know you are in here somewhere:


The rabbit sits unafraid, smoking his pipe because he’s smarter than the panther. (E/e=Te✅)

Author: MikeandKatyBug

44 thoughts on “The kidnapping; We talked. (Trigger warning)

      1. I know, Bug. This is why you like it. Bug, listen to me. The illusion was that there was a “future” as such. It’s an illusion – This is just the experience we are having. Hang in there, sweetybug.

  1. System Check In
    Latest Check in: ► 10:04 pm (1/22/2020)
    Dominance: ► NDS (1/22/2020)
    System State: Exhausted -(DSP) (I/d) (I/co) (D-f) (I/p) (C/eg) (ANP) (A)-
    Co-Engagement(s) (C/eg): Mixed

    1. Oh jeez, Jus, I hope you didn’t feel obliged to write something. We promised the Matrix we would share our experience of recovery but in the end, we wrote this for the rest of the system. Hell yea, we will take free hugs, who the F wouldn’t? Thank you for being kind and expressing well wishes when you didn’t have to.

          1. I’m glad it’s in the past. If the memories introduce or some of your selves are stuck in trauma time, you and the older ones can remind them <3

          2. Oh, we have evolved past that. The greatest thing about that trauma, is that without that kidnapping happening, some of us wouldn’t even be here, in the system/family. (Kayleigh’s Paradox)

    1. Oh Jeez. Thank you Ashley, you’re so lovely. I hope you didn’t feel obliged to write this. I promised everyone that we would share our experiences. We never said it was going to be very lovely – True DiD is born out of the worst of human suffering. Thank you for reading that story when you didn’t have to. That says a lot about you. Kayleigh’s going to be alright. She’s superhuman. 🙂 I’ll pass along the well wishes.

  2. Oh darlings… there are no words I can say that can convey my sadness, protective anger, and horror at the cruelty you experienced. And at the fact that this post is just one example of it. As a mother, my heart aches to go into the past, into those motel rooms, and transform into a grizzly bear protecting her cubs. Sending all you darlings love, especially Kayleigh.

    1. You are so wonderful. Thank you for saying such a wonderful thing. 🙂 We’l pass your message along to Kayleigh.

      We really appreciate your kindness. Stay perfect! (C/eg)

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