Sometimes, it’s decades later, entire decades, that you begin understand the past with a new and rejuvenated sense of understanding. Things that made no sense then, make even more perfect sense now. Looking back of course, yeah, that makes sense, doesn’t it? The ladies were always there and no matter how loudly they screamed at me, I couldn’t hear them anymore. Estranged. Terribly, horribly, horrifyingly, estranged.
As Kayleigh slides back into our lives our memories are beginning to change again – I, we, can remember bits and pieces of an out of focus water color painting.
As a child, I, MikeANP would find myself snapping my head around, getting the non existent long hair off of my neck and shoulders, like the ladies do now. That includes, of course, brushing that same non existent hair away from my ear with one of my hands. Never once, never ONCE, did I (MikeANP) ever ask myself, “Why do I think I have long hair and why am I moving and acting as though I do?”. I did it for decades and my hair was never long, it was always short or shaved.
That’s how sick I (MikeANP) really was. Never once, did I ever ask myself this question, or so many, that I should have. It was simply the ladies and it had NOTHING to do with MikeANP which is why I thought nothing of it. If one of the ladies was Dominant (D) during those events, I wouldn’t even remember them doing it – 1 second after they did it. That’s how confusing and stealthy DiD, really is.