Let’s talk DiD Stigma; “Dangerous”.
Hello lovely people. Let’s talk DiD stigma for a moment. There’s a problem that we see, that crops up all the time from those claiming to live with DiD. They always say the same thing: “People with DiD and or their Alters aren’t dangerous“. That statement in itself, is a stigmatizing statement. Let’s talk about that for a moment.
How are we defining dangerous? I’ll assume for a moment that this person is referring to physical violence. All of us in the system can be dangerous, just as anyone else in the world can be dangerous. Anyone can be dangerous at any time. It depends on the definitions, their context(s) and the situations that are involved.
After years of repeated abuse by a narcissistic family member, we had to drag Kayleigh Marie out of the place we were living at the time, kicking and screaming. Kayleigh wanted to hurt someone who was abusing Katy Mae, most importantly. She wanted to protect the rest of the system – She had finally had enough.
The rest of us decided that cost of that potentional physical violence was far too great. Physically hurting an abuser (Or anyone for that matter) isn’t and never was the answer for us. We had to leave to prevent violence. We had to escape the situation we were in, dragging Kayleigh by the pigtails all the while – We ended up homeless to prevent/avoid any kind of physical conflict.
Living with DiD means that there is a tremendous amount of counter weight to any argument or problem that’s happening internally, externally or both. Just because a fed up Kayleigh wanted to hurt an active abuser, doesn’t mean the rest of the system won’t step in to prevent it – Which is exactly what happened.
Can the ANP or an alter be dangerous in other (Asymmetric) ways, just like anyone else on Earth? Sure, they can be, but all of us do our best to avoid, at all costs, negative or harmful physical conflict.
Let’s say someone in the female system doesn’t like a person who’s in our lives. The rest of the system might be peachy with the person in question. Someone in the female system may end up saying something hurtful to this person that might endanger that particular relationship. How are we defining “Dangerous”? Dangerous to a relationship, sure. This has more to do with the number of people we actually are. We all feel differently about people and situations that are happening in our lives. That’s what living with DiD is all about. Finding as much balance as possible.
Perhaps Katy Mae just get’s too excited in the morning listening to “Wild Roses” and she forgets to take her meds for the day; That’s technically “Dangerous”, isn’t it? What happens when she wants a cigarette and some in the system want’s to quit? Isn’t that “dangerous” to our/her health?
We think it’s a far stretch for someone living with DiD to say “I have DiD; Myself and my alters aren’t dangerous at all”. That is a very stigmatizing statement for others living with DiD; That suggest’s alters or the host isn’t a human being, capable of dangerous and or violent behavior just as anyone else can be. It’s all in how we are defining the word “Dangerous” and what we are applying it to.
Stigma. Stigma everywhere.
We think it’s much more appropriate to simply say “We aren’t any more dangerous than anyone else”.
It should be noted that the mentally ill are far more likely to be the recipients of violent crime, not the perpetrators of it, statically speaking.
Thanks for stopping by, lovely people. Keep bein’ lovely, it’s what you do best!