Sun. Nov 17th, 2019

Our DiD Journey

"People do it everyday; They talk to themselves. They seem themselves as they'd like to be" –Fight Club

Titanic.

4 min read

Hello lovely readers. We promised you that we would finally write about Titanic and here are. Titanic almost killed us a few times (With at least one aggressive suicide attempt). There is so much to this movie, for all of us. Titanic is one of (if not) most important movies we have ever seen and echoed. This is the first time we are speaking to others about Titanic. A 20+ year story in the making.

We first saw this movie in our late teens and was instantly hooked on yet again echoing this movie (And soundtrack) millions (Not kidding) of times. There are almost too many different elements of this movie that struck home with us in ways we wouldn’t understand for another 20+ years. We think it’s important to note that this movie was release post our kidnapping and sexual assault.

This movie more about the entire system as opposed to one particular family member (Altar) – The male and the female system. Rose and Jack are representative of both the male and the female side, respectively. Of course at the time, we had no idea that’s what it meant. We were just drawn to the characters in such deeply personal ways as internal projections (I/p) and allegorical manner(s).

This movie represented the male system saving the female system from the fake, snotty high society side that we actually grew up in. A case manager once said after we expressed how tragic this movie was for us that MikeANP was “More like Rose” and described the above. Even then, people sensed the overpowering female energy residing in this one body.

What made this movie so powerful to us were the trauma elements in which the main character, Jack, dies in. Cold water trauma, which also happened to us – So this particular death hit the entire system extremely hard. After the first time we saw this movie, we attempted suicide and we knew, somehow that Titanic was involved, we just didn’t know how or why, until now.

Just like so many other echo elements (E/e) we see a traumatized Rose (Female system) powerless to stop the loss of a loved one. This is a theme (T) that is all too recurrent. We see it over and over again. Once the female system connected the Male system’s death via cold water trauma, the female system became suicidal and in one attempt, almost ended our lives.

The mighty Titanic breaks into two.

Our lives were consumed by Titanic. We would echo the soundtrack with others – We ended listening (Echoing) to the entire soundtrack millions of times, driving us deeper and deeper into depression. It was the context of the music that moved us so much more than the music itself. We ended up in a hospital after that attempt, STILL listening to the Titanic soundtrack.

It should be said at this point should be noted that the movie Titanic recreated mass death that Katy Mae just cannot stand to look at. That being said, Kayleigh Marie, along with Mark and MikeANP love witnessing chaos. Sinking ships is something we have always found fascinating.

This introduces an opposing altar state (OAS) that left us terribly confused as to why this movie drove us to depression and suicide, yet we loved seeing it. Imagine the confusion you would experience, yourselves, feeling both horrendously sad and psyched up at the same time.

The female system having to let the male system go in order to survive. This was one of the echo elements that landed us in too many hospitals. This is, of course, an internal projection (I/p).

We ended up studying the Titanic shipwreck compulsively (While listening to the soundtrack), for years. We read everything about Titanic and of course we loved the science of how she sank. We almost ended up, on a whim, heading to Florida in an attempt to attending a college that offered shipwreck diving. That’s how compulsive we became about Titanic.

For 90 percent of the movie, we are okay when we watch it. There are a few echo elements that are difficult but they are manageable. It’s the death scene (That we still refuse to watch) that causes so much trouble for us. It should. Our water trauma was cold water trauma so the connection, of course is instant. The fact that they were in water for this scene makes it a trauma element (T/e=?) that we were identifying with and echoing.

This death scene, also contains another theme (T) that we see in other films. The “Survival” theme. Jack, while immersed in the water to save Rose, talks about how she will live on and have kids, etcetera and so forth. We have seen this theme too many times before, such as the ending of “Blood Diamond” and “Interstellar”.

It’s the context of the male and female system saying goodbye to each other. It’s about the female system knowing, witnessing and having to let go of the male system dying, or going away, for decades. The female system knew we were gone (but not dead) because of trauma.

This is why Rose crying after realizing this fact hits us so hard.


In reality, the movie Titanic, for us had nothing to do with the Titanic or the wreck itself but we thought it did. All of the study and research into Titanic happened because we were echoing it so heavily, it seemed only natural to understand EVERYTHING about that ship wreck. Nope. The ship nor the story of it, wasn’t important to us, in the end. We thought it was.

Just like we see in the movie, it was decades before we could be reunited again but we were and perhaps that’s where we should leave this blog post.

Finally reunited. Note, all of our fragments (-f+) clapping in the background

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