Oh shit, they split; Don’t you dare split!
Hello lovely readers. hi. So, a loved one split, or you think a (D) split has occurred. What do you do now? Seeing someone splitting can be scary and well, scary. So what do you do? What should you say?
What shouldn’t you say? Let’s talk about it. This will be a zombie survival guide hahaha style survival guide. We are all busy, aren’t we? Let’s get cracking. Oh damn! A split is happening! You have observed what you think is a (D) split for the first time. If the event is dissociative, your problems are just beginning. Let’s assume for a second that it isn’t. Splits are terrifying ordeals for all involved but most importantly, your loved one.
Your loved one may only partially in control (Or none at all). (D) Splits happen because of stress, generally. Wether a loved one is already under stress or a pinprick of stress just occurred doesn’t matter. Assume (But don’t verbalize) that a protector altar has arrived. Expect conflict but don’t invite it.
- 1) Establish Safety first (For both of you). “Charlene are you alright?” Light eye contact only. Forcing a potential protector alter to stare at you is inviting disaster.
- 2) Reinforce Safety: Ask your loved ones “Do you feel safe?” If a no happens immediately move to #6. If a a good safety check comes back it’s perfectly ok to simply say “Ok” and move on.
- 3) Focusing on an altar’s dominance is also a no no until you establish who exactly you are speaking to; Some alters prefer may not prefer to be prodded and other’s might not mind speaking to you at all (Situation dependant).
- 4) Try and stay quiet if it’s a quiet split. Many giveaways to a (D) split occur. If you suspect an active split is happening and your love one is simply zombie quiet at any time during the split, sometimes the best thing to do is stay quiet. Timing and empathy is everything, if this is the option you are taking.
- 5) Would you like to talk?” “Is there anything you want to say!?!” If a “Yes” happens, great, but whatever you do, if you hear a “No” that means, NO. Simply move ahead to number 6. Remember, prodding is the last thing you want to do during a suspected split.
- 6) Ask your loved one if everything needs to stop. The more stress you apply in any given suspected split will only intensify a need to protect the ANP by an activated, dominant altar who just might be expecting conflict.Move slowly, talk quietly and ask if the car needs to be stopped, the talking needs to stop, the music needs turned off, ect. You must be the very calm, no matter what’s happening.
- 7) Going out of your way to ask “Who’s out” isn’t a good idea, eithernonono. Some altars may not want to reveal who they are for a myriad of reasons and will most likely trigger a defensive response. Let the ANP or Altar come to you with a dominance confirmation
- Asking a probing question is perfectly fine if you don’t get caught and as long as you and your loved ones have established the above and feel safe together.
This is something you will have to judge for yourself. A quick check for a suspected split w/Dissociation, is to subtly ask a short term, time/date related question such as:
“Do you remember that dinner last night, what kind of onions were those you used?”If this person can’t recall something from short term memory it’s perfectly ok to assume based on feedback you’re loved ones are dissociated.
We suggest you do this with care. Remember, SUBTLE. A protector altar’s job is to defend the ANP (And other altars). Manufactured concern and obvious probing questions detected will mean big trouble and that’s the last thing you want. Don’t get caught and be honest about how you are feeling, as well.
If a loved one is dissociative during one of these events, they won’t remember what you asked them 3 you ass. LOL seconds ago. The above components establish contracted safety, communication and potentional Dominance Identification; Also this is a way to try and ground at the same time. If at any time you feel as though you are in immediate danger, well that’s an entirely different situation.
Of course we aren’t doctors and wouldn’t suggest you replace this with an actual professional’s opinion.
Each situation and each altar is different. The above is also assuming you have some idea of the family members you are dealing with and have already established some kind of relationship with them. If you haven’t spent a lot of time around this person, talk to friends and family members (With their permission) to try and understand who exactly is who. This will pay off, later.
This is what we find works for us and is only directed at those who read our blog and or that may at one time, end up dealing with all of us.
Continue doing the loveliest thing on Earth you can do, being you! whydid youuse charlene. I dunno. lol.