There’s a First time for everything…
Hello our lovelies, holy sh*t what a crazy few days it’s been. Good lord. As we become more and more aware of ourselves and our surroundings (As best as we can understand them) things are becoming clear. For what it’s worth, we deserve better (in some ways). Let’s talk about it!
We were so sick, we actually believed the world existed that was presented to us. We knew as kids that the world wasn’t real and it was tortured out of us. This is what we previously coined “The Motel Effect” but has a better description as the “Long Duc Dong” Effect. We knew then! “You’re too smart for your own good…”.
This is what it’s like for us, every single fucking day. With everyone. Without exception. It’s been like this since we were born. 16 Candles 6×1=6=(3+3)
We have lived a life of, well, all you lovely readers already know, so let’s rephrase that; Our lives were so filled with shame over not having one, we never had a life. So ashamed in fact, we had to hide even the shame of our lives simply to exist. Trashed every relationship we ever cared about, in illness.
Everything went wrong and we had no way to escape, trust us, we tried. Moments we have had, finding order, one’s like surrendering to loved ones “Our entire lives have been a sham, you don’t really know us – No one does.” (Well that theory is busted) – Those are the worst ones. These are the conversations, perhaps superflous given certain considerations, that need to happen if we are expect to find continued order.
“Maybe we know more about you than you think…” Mental Health Professional
To end up in the position we are in is so hard but something interesting happened today. A loved one had a taste of what Kayleigh Marie can do when she is tempered, when she is focused just as much as the rest of us. Slowly, her maturity is creeping out and we couldn’t be prouder of her. Her message was clear;
We deserve to be treated better.
For the first time in our lives, collectively do we feel as though we have earned a right to ask these things from others. What we have gone through, for whatever sick, twisted grand experiment this, we are beginning to demand different things in life, from others, that don’t cost a dime.
Things that are important to our happiness that we never thought we deserved to ask for before. We have always felt, at least, MikeANP, has always felt less than everyone else but it was made to be that way. At least I, simply accepted the false reality I was given and that reality is/was twisted to the 9thhaha degree. Hi Katy Mae!hi.hi.
It feels very odd for us to exert, at least, in some part some expression of expectation(s) that should have been implanted (From the beginning) in our heads instead of the horror that was.
That was, this is now.
Times are changing and we are proud of you Kayleigh Marie, who as we speak, is dead asleep (Dormant). Her battle to find order out of complete and total chaos has inspired, at least myself and our family, which in the end is all that matters.yes ilove her.
Carry on being the lovely souls you are; There’s only one of you who can do that job and you know how to do it best!