Hello lovely readers! We had to take a social media/bloggin’ break for a long time. As promised things got rough, fast. The moment we all thought we had things figured out, things got even crazier for us. We had to let go of someone we love very much, which harmed us greatly and we have learned more about what our echo’s actually mean and much more.
We knew the dominant split was coming and boy, did it hit ALL of us extremely hard. Complete exhaustion. This, we also refer to as “Disposession”. When an alter decides enough is enough and becomes dominant, it feels and appears as though you are “Possessed”. When they decide they have existed long enough in your body, the let go of you (Host) and the burnout starts. Dispossession.
Let’s talk about it!
Good lord what a crazy 7 months. Just when we have everything nailed down, our entire recovery was rocked with new and extremely important information. Our “Echo” system is much more complex than we first originally thought and we could write for days about their functions and meanings. A dominant split happened and we are all pretty sure it was Mark and Kayleigh Marie in defense mode over the last week.
Cooldowns from splits are exhausting and terrifying experiences in which reality itself and your memories can bend and fade. We have described it as a very spastic ghost leaving your body. Once an alter(s) is done protecting/interacting with you and the world, there’s nothing left in your tank. Sleep, crying, more sleep and even more sheer terror.
With that whining out of the way – We have learned that our echoing is dependent upon color association(s)!!! This is what made the last 40 years of our lives so difficult. There wasn’t a reference for our echoing (Autism) in which to work with. We will leave the technical details for another post, however. Color association seems to be limited to primary colors and the colors we see all have different emotional/DiD-Switch functions we weren’t even aware of.
We have located single alter state switches, all the way to mixed components and opposing alter states (OAS). Don’t worry, lovely readers, we will get there.
A quick synopsis of one of our echo/alter elements is below, featuring “Moonraker”.
Moonraker was a tough one for us, for a long, long time. This movie, and this scene stumped us, for years. It was the color association(s) that really threw us off for a decades. Boom, found it! Once we understood the coloring issue, everything immediately came together.
The general assumption was that our lightcasting and echoing had something to do with others. It doesn’t. When you exist with DiD, your alters have just as much to say as the Host does (ANP). All of our echos and lightcasts are internal dialogues that are happening and depending upon the color associations, more than one alter can be “active” (Dominant/Co-Engaged) at one time. This, we believe is a function of the Autism that we live with.
There is so frickin’ much going on! We will try to update this blog as much as we can through sniffles and we will see you all, very soon!
Mike(And The Gang)